How not to do customer service

HSBC, you tools - try employing some staff to actually serve on the counter on Saturday mornings, rather than two people standing like lemons by a bank of automated machines, none of which were capable of doing what I needed, i.e. paying a birthday cheque in.

Supercilious Woman in a Sash, Peterborough branch: you will never know how close you came to the mother of all tongue-lashings this morning.