I think Shreddies suck, actually.

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(Other breakfast cereals are available.)

How to... Tell if you live in the country

Sometime in the 19th century, country living suddenly became less a sign of woeful unsophistication, more the rural idyll to which a nation aspired. Nowadays any home sited towards the edge of a suburban housing development is described as “semi-rural” and you only have to back onto a scrubby patch of wasteland to have the estate agency frothing at the mouth at your “rolling countryside views”.

So how do you know whether you’re a real bumpkin, or just playing at it? Our handy quiz is here to help.

Question 1. Wellies are:
A) a crime against fashion
B) cute for festivals (but you’d only be seen in Hunter or Le Chameau)
C) your footwear of choice for five months of the year. You only buy cheapies because you know they all split after 6 months anyway.

Question 2. You run out of milk. Do you:
A) Nip out to Starbucks
B) Walk to the corner shop
C) Grudgingly get in the car and drive 12 miles round, cursing yourself for having allowed this to happen.

Question 3. How well do you know your neighbours?
A) Wouldn't recognise them.
B) We exchange Christmas cards, and occasionally the kids play football together.
C) I turned up on their doorstep in my bathrobe for a shower when the hot water broke. They didn't bat an eyelid.

Question 4. Mud is:
A) That embarrassing 70s band your Dad used to like
B) Horrid, horrid, horrid.
C) The inevitable patina of your house and car between October and March.

Question 5. Describe your takeaway options.
A) Manifold.
B) We can get pizza, Chinese and Indian delivered.
C) Once a week I drive 3 miles out to the mobile chip van.

RESULTS

Mostly As: An urbanite through and through.
Mostly Bs: You are as suburban as Terry and June. Your privet hedge is neatly trimmed and your Joules wellies fool no-one.
Mostly Cs: Congratulations, you are a fully fledged country dweller! You will probably die from being trampled by cows, but you wouldn't want it any other way.