"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
My last day in a primary school, having been utterly convinced 6 1/2 years ago it was the career for me, and quietly petrified for the last 4 that it wasn't.
I didn't once cry today, but tonight I am see-sawing between two emotions: utter joy at the release of tension (it's no exaggeration to say I feel like I can breathe out for the first time in four years), and bleak sadness at the loss of the relationships that made it worthwhile despite the stress. I have taught kids I'd take a bullet for, and I have made some truly wonderful friends among my colleagues.
When I was training, we had some drama coaching off an old boy close to retirement, and he said "I don't really care how much they know. I care whether I'm turning out decent people." The fact that I remember this 6 years on says it all. For me, the children's acquisition of knowledge has always come a poor second to their confidence, their happiness, their willingness to have a go and sometimes make a total tit of yourself in the process. Unfortunately, these are not victories measured by the blinkered automatons who run OFSTED, nor a series of short-sighted and reactionary Secretaries of State for Education*.
Here's to you, kids. In all your noisy, untidy, clumsy, affectionate, hilarious, loveliness.
* I physically can't look at Michael Gove without wanting to throw something at him.
My stint in teaching wasn't as nearly as long as yours but I know what a powerful cocktail of emotions that one feels upon leaving, the relief and the regret.
ReplyDeleteThe old boy had it right of course but I imagine there's no "target" for turning out decent people.
Well done you for grasping the nettle and taking the decision. Can't have been easy I'm sure.
And... how exciting! I look forward to reading about the new leaf that I can hear turning! Best of luck, and enjoy the time off.