The world is divided into two sorts of people; those who would love it if someone threw them a surprise birthday party, and those who shudder at the very thought. (My husband spent the first half hour of his 40th birthday dinner at Boboli terrified that 20 of his nearest and dearest were going to leap out from behind a pillar.)
Surprises in general are mixed blessing. Some are great – Toddler Niece’s sudden fierce kisses, or cries of “I luff you!” spring to mind – but most are not. For instance, I always forget just how painful a wasp sting is. Ditto treading on Lego. For sheer bringing-you-up-shortness, nothing beats getting your dressing gown sleeve caught on a door handle when you’re carrying a cup of tea.
One of the downsides of country cats is the breadth of live fauna they bring in. My parents have a pond; to date Dad has found a toad in his driving moccasins and Mum a decomposed goldfish under her bed. Up here, a field mouse in the toe of my husband’s wellington was a winner (to be fair, I think the mouse was more startled than he.) Only last night I was quietly enjoying “The Plantagenets” when the cat entered Stage Left with a live finch in his mouth. (I’m pleased to say it was rescued, unharmed, by said husband – he’s a patient man considering he never wanted the cat!)
The story I’m about to tell you continues the theme and makes my buttock clench with horror. My grandparents lived most of their lives on an RSPB reserve in Suffolk. Suffolk, being dry and sandy, is absolutely chock-a-block with snakes. (It was a great place to grow up given my crippling phobia of the damn things.) Anyway, Gran was answering the call of Nature in her downstairs loo when her cat leapt in through the open window carrying a live, 2-foot adder in its mouth and proceeded to wrangle it like one of those demented preachers from the Bible Belt in America.
That particular cat and indeed that particular Gran are sadly long gone, but I’ve never used a downstairs loo without closing the window since.
To view a surprised panda, click here: http://youtu.be/EAcdvmnZ_GM
Oooh I wouldn't fancy seeing a snake brought in like that.
ReplyDeleteThat's one reason I would never live in Australia. I saw a Black Widow in the natural history museum in Liverpool and was expecting some massive arachnid with six inch long legs -- they're tiny, and they sometimes somehow end up in your loo and then come out to bite your bum, and it can be fatal. Suffolk sounds bad enough.