My husband claims that I have a remarkable ability to save money, despite my modest salary. In these belt-tightening times, I offer the secrets of my stingy success:
1. Staunchly ignore any “Love your Leftovers” type advice proffered by the government or, worse, the C4 programme “Superscrimpers”. If, for example, two pears have gone a bit squelchy, surely it is cheaper (and better for the figure) to throw them away than to invest butter, sugar, flour, eggs and half an hour’s worth of Gas Mark 4 to turn them into some sort of unholy dessert. Let’s face it, if you really wanted pear Genoise sponge you would have made it in the first place.
2. Learn to love being at home. To recreate all the fun of the cinema while saving £6 a head, simply turn all the lights off and insist your other half sits behind you for the duration of Downton Abbey, alternately kicking your chair, giggling, crunching popcorn, texting, and getting up to go to the loo at inconvenient moments. For a pseudo-nightclub experience, set off your car alarm and dance around that, while wearing the skimpiest item of clothing in your wardrobe. (Add blue food dye to vodka & lemonade to get you in the mood.) Finally, enjoy an ersatz package holiday by turning the thermostat to “Max” and putting “The Greatest Hits of Wham” on a permanent loop.
3. Remember that the first syllable of “convenient” is CON. Frozen baked potatoes? How much easier than “stab with a fork and stick in the oven for an hour” do people need?
4. Strike “ironing water”, the ultimate CON, off your shopping list. Remember the good old days, when clothes just smelled like... clothes?
5. Stockpile BOGOFs as if Armageddon were a-comin’. Currently we have 19 loo rolls, 17 bottles of shower gel and enough cat food to keep the RSPCA afloat for a year.
6. Marry someone who earns more than you do, and conveniently forget your purse whenever you are out with them.
I think you might be onto the best one at number 6 there :) I've just eaten, for the third day running, a Moroccan salad which was really nice three days ago. It's got eggs in and I get the feeling that the coin that comes down and determines whether I'm going to be clutching my guts in agony in a day or two is still spinning undecidedly in the air.
ReplyDeleteRe CON foods - One of my guilty pleasures is Batchelors rice, but the other day I decide to make an approximation of it myself, with rice, onions, some rather old grilled peppars in oil (out of a jar - I'm not that keen), carrots and some of my friend's chutney. Result - about triple the quantity for less than the price of one packet.