1) A tip for the antisocial: you’re not as important to other people’s plans as you think you are. You really won't ruin their Christmas party/ hen night /evening wedding reception 200 miles away if you don't go, so why put yourself through it? There are enough things we don't want to do but must (e.g. getting up for work, dental visits). Social events are not obligatory! Be upfront, though. Faking a headache at the eleventh hour is appalling.
2) Talking of dental visits - however you’ve been cleaning your teeth, it won't be right.
3) A squirt of lime juice at the end improves almost any spicy dish.
4) Unless you have the gardening skills of Alan Titchmarsh, it really isn't worth trying to grow your own food.
5) Give people the benefit of the doubt. They’e probably done the same for you already.
6) Try the bread from East Langton garden centre. Thank me later.
7) Open your mail over the recycling bin.
8) Always have a pound coin in your pocket on a walk, in case someone’s selling free-range eggs.
9) Put the phone down on cold callers. There’s no need to shout at them; equally there’s no need to let them waste your time.
10) Don't watch the shopping channels within reach of your credit card. The presenters have serious sales technique. My husband went to collect a takeaway and by the time he got home I'd ordered a £200 carpet cleaner. (Although I have to admit the living room has never looked fresher.)
11) Don't assume everyone wants to share food just because you’re having Chinese or Indian. I’m totally with Smithy from Gavin & Stacey on this one. http://tinyurl.com/novtv4o
12) There are very few bad moods not improved by a sandwich, a walk or a hot bath. In extreme cases watch repeats of Bullseye.
An outraged Mollie extends her festive greetings.
Some good ones there. I hadn't thought about it before, but it's amazing how many times I've passed a free range egg stall, somewhere out in the country, and not had the change for the honesty box. Someone told me recently that almost all supermarket "free range" eggs are hardly free range at all, not in the way you imagine the hens to be.
ReplyDeleteI like the look of near-disdain on Mollie's face there.
Yes, the legal definition of free range isn't exactly The Darling Buds of May. The eggs I like best, I can see my neighbour's hens from my bedroom window (how Boden catalogue is that?)
ReplyDeleteShe does a good line in imperious distaste, does my Mollie. As someone said yesterday "She's terribly pretty... And I bet she knows it!"